The Unwarranted Mistakes I Must Guard Against

the world spins without you
whether you want it to
life goes on without you
whether i want it to
everything happens for a reason and
for a reason there is everything
it gets colder as the days get darker
and so do i as we drift away. i found
love- strong, pure, and true sometimes i
wish it were you. then i know i don’t miss
the shit you put me through. i find my
thoughts of you and i know its not fair
so i simply light a smoke and watch you
burn away. its hard to let go of that
very first love but giving it all away.
you’ve got to get out of me and
release my thoughts.
i DO love you
that
wont change but everything else
just wont
stay the same.

Always knew you hung the moon

Fell way too hard and way too soon

I was Too young to understand

The only way I can think

To curb your angry streak

Is to kiss you

But I wont right now

So what am I to do?

Who am I to you?

All I know is what we’ve always been

And that has never been just friends

Oh what am I to do?

Forced you out erase your trace

Tried it all to forget your face

I was too dumb to understand

The only way to prove to you

I don’t believe that we are through

Is to miss you

And I do right now

So what am I to do?

Who am I to you?

All I know is what we’ve always been

Under the pretense of a one night stand

No I don’t know what to do

I don’t know who I am to you.

Suffering this sickness without sedation a punishment that does fit the crimes screaming at the top of my lungs yet you aren’t hearing a word whisper those sweet nothings like before just for her behind closed doors still calling me a whore

Get out of here quick my dear the zombies are coming and they don’t take kindly to queers it’s hard to keep the secret spread across your breasts from the flesh eating threats drooling between semi closed legs let’s grab a bottle of wine and go back to mine I said quick my dear lets get out of here

Policing my intent sifting thoroughly through the evidence still cannot accept we’re all alone no matter what the record reflects but the muscles move over bones making sweet melodies in this dark cell hunting down the familiar harmonies

The world is crashing down around us fighting to keep stealth and undetected don’t watch me create this diversion just run love and save yourself

i wanted her to see me.

i wanted her to want me.

i wanted her to know me.

i wanted her to hear me.

i wanted her to love me.

i wanted her to wait.

i wanted her to miss me.

i wanted her to show me.

i wanted her to be herself.

i wanted her to bare her soul.

i wanted her to trust me.

i wanted her to hold me.

i wanted her to need me.

i wanted her to try again.

i wanted her to stay.

i wanted her to try new things.

i wanted her to have space.

i wanted her to hurt me.

i wanted her to feel better.

i wanted her to change me.

i wanted her to teach me.

i wanted her to have patience.

i wanted her to have hope.

i wanted her to be happy.

i wanted her to know love.

a ndthen she wa nted togo.

                           so i let her

I cut out my tongue to see what it had to say

Tried closing my eyes but my mind stayed blank

You stared at me bewildered and beguiled

Refusing to believe I was still so tongue-tied

I tried to explain the blood and the stains

No one it seemed understood what I was saying

So I served the time for crimes unclaimed

And counted the hours until I could tell you again

I have studied the silence and this I must say

If there was less to explore it would be a lonely place

know your truest nature

know your beating heart

flesh and bone

breath and tone

yearning for trust

fingertips on your body

fingertips through your hair

calmly caressing lips

claws digging hips

an insatiable lust

remember to be

remember to dream

gentility in the walking

simplicity in the talking

souls now hidden safely inside

love calling you

love stalking me

your yin: bright, happy

my yang: dark, sappy

what if we never tried?

Standing here still

Holding back tears

Holding through fears